Growing Wings

It's finally finally here! After months of waiting and frustration the universe is done playing games with me (I mean "teaching me lessons", at least for the moment). Wednesday morning a midst a self taught yoga session I got a call. "Your visa has been approved-" YEESSSSSS!!! It felt like the first time I found out I was going to Spain or when I heard from my host family. The same scream/dance/running around like a crazy person, soon followed.


Instead of a visa pic (personal info sharing is a no-no) Here's a snap of some Tanika originals, painted for Spain.

 I was trying to stay positive but in all honesty, it stopped feeling real. Every time I mentioned "Spain" my voice got quieter, more like "Spaainn....?" But now I can shout it, full volume, on the tops of buildings or just in my house as I dance to my ever-growing "Vamos A España" playlist.


The view from the parking garage where I was shouting "I'm going to Spain!!"

 90% Chance of A Packing Storm

I have been packing.. somewhat. It's been a strategic 3,2,1 process. Pack 3 things, take 2 out, waste 1 hour on Pinterest. Repeat. My flight ticket was booked before I even had half a suitcase full. For anyone who doesn't know me I am quite the unorganized and messy living person. Needless to say the past few days have been a frenzy of flying clothes and list on lists. But the terrifying task of packing an entire life into two, under fifty pound suitcases is slowly zipping up, cased closed (pun always intended!)

Before and After the storm, completely wiped out. Never again will it be this clean.

I Got Spain on the Brain!

Like I said, lately Spain has felt very far away, was I ever going? So my usual Flamenco dancing, Spanish book reading had slowed. After holding that visa, it's amped up to 500 watts of Sonríe(Smile)!! I'm breezing through "Bajo la Misma Estrea" (Spanish translation of the Fault in Our Stars) and keep my little homemade Diccionario for words that trip me up. I now have 101.1 LA MEGA MEXCLA and 104.9 TU MUSICA blasting at all times. I kid you not, my sing-a-long attempts are to die for. I would post a video but never at the wheel (safety first kids!)

Some kids made pillows, others brought tshirts. I made name tags with some character!

Never Goodbyes

Now I'm driving with mom to Dallas, on my way to catch wings into a new life. My sister was surprisingly sentimental with the most amazing goodbye movie with our memories. I was tearing up, just like my crazy emotional mother. It was my Dad that gave me the hardest goodbye with a hug so squeezable, the kind that used to make me squirm, but this time I wanted to stay in that hug forever.

Saying goodbye to my new favorite supermarket!

Tomorrow will be the last day in the States for a year and the most daunting of all goodbyes. My mom's. We're both big mush balls so I've packed plenty of tissues and a pair of sunglasses. I'll try to post tomorrow during my layover. Assuming my words are blurred by salty tears. It's all a part of the journey, letting go to grab hold of something new. Somewhere in between I'll learn to grow wings!

Something Like Goodbye

See Ya

Goodbyes used to be detrimental events. We'd hide from our parents at the end of a play-date just to keep it going a little while longer. I know I'd come up with all kinds of excuses as to why every night was a need for a sleepover! But all play-dates come to an end and the little goodbyes that are only "see you tomorrow" hurt a lot. It could have been my hyperactive childhood I had that never allowed me to sleep, but nights were the worst. I'd think of all the fun games I could be playing with my friends and how the time between goodbye and hello again seemed so stupidly long. Those goodbyes were very small. I didn't know that until I had to say the real ones.

Way back then, when it only took minutes to make friends.

Until We Meet Again...?

My first move brought on the first round of real goodbyes the "I may possibly and most likely never see you again", goodbyes. Yeah, those ones suck the most. That term "Ugly Crier" my picture would be perfect for the dictionary definition. My eyes swell up red and my whole face takes on a strong resemblance of a lobster. I remember huddling with friends in the backyard, beside my favorite swing-set cry, cry, crying.  This pain was beyond the pain I'd felt when my hamster Gussy died. And the tears, oh the burning tears would not flipping stop! Hiccuping my way to the airport, that was the first lesson of Goodbye. I was only getting started.

Holding on because we can't let go.

Never goodbye's, just a lot of love and reunion plans.

Professional Leaver

Years later. With so many moves, so many homes and so many goodbyes, I'd consider myself fairly good at leaving. Each time in a good/bad way, it's gotten easier. Does that mean I'm less sentimental or even heartless (Maybe it's that annoying "growing up" nonsense that everyone talks about) Either way the tears become smaller and the pain less... painful. I feel guilty when I'm hugging goodbyes and my usual lobster tears don't surface. I can just feel it, when I know this isn't the last goodbye. People have so many different paths. I mean we go everywhere, do everything, we are amazing beings. I just can't bring myself to believe in this great big world of choices and coincidences, that I'll never see the people who mean so much to me now.

Years apart and this Squad remains stronger than ever.

The Reunion and The Rekindling

"Fate is a fickle mistress", well she has brought me all over the place. More often than not she brings me to the places I've been missing, in the best cases, into the arms the ones I've been missing. Each time those goodbyes seem to disappear easily, buried in the hugs and laughs stitch years apart, together. Saying goodbye so much has made me a ok with the idea of leaving. Maybe I've gotten tougher or something. Or maybe I finally realize that there is something on the other side of goodbye. A distant but not so far away "Hello"